The Monkey—yeah, I took my seat
Oz Perkins on the credit, thought it’d be neat
Lights go down, I’m ready to lock in—
Didn’t know what I was walking in

Row behind me talking loud
Running commentary for the crowd
Every line, I’m clenching tight
Like, please just let me watch this right

Tried to focus, tried to stay
But they wouldn’t fade away
Ruining every single scene
Yeah, you know exactly what I mean

Side-eye sharp, I almost snapped
Counting seconds, holding back
One more word, I might explode
Then the film just changed the mode

Halfway through, something flipped
Time jumped forward, I slipped
Couldn’t hear them anymore
Something louder took the floor
Internal barking, can’t behave
Every time he hit the frame
Lights go down, I lose control
Yeah, he’s got a hold on my soul

woof woof

Twenty-five years later, scene reset
Different vibe, new silhouette
And then he walks in, whole room shifts
Like the film just gave me a gift

Theo James on screen, yeah that’s the cue
Everything else just disappears from view
Dialogue? I couldn’t say
I was gone in a different way

Noise behind me? fully gone
Drowned out by what’s going on
Not the film, not the sound
Just the way he moves around

Halfway through, something flipped
Time jumped forward, I slipped
Couldn’t hear them anymore
Something louder took the floor
Internal barking, can’t behave
Every time he hit the frame
Lights go down, I lose control
Yeah, he’s got a hold on my soul

woof woof

Talk all you want, I’m checked out now
Not my problem, not my crowd
I got something else to see
And it’s staring back at me
Theo James on screen—yeah, I’m not calm
Internal barking like a full alarm
I lost the plot, he’s so hot
Lowkey barking out loud

woof woof
bark bark

Movie playing, I couldn’t tell
Plot got lost, but I was well
Came in mad, left unhinged
Yeah… worth it in the end